My dog is standing on the couch, looking out the window and barking at I have no idea what. That’s the key there, I have no idea. I haven’t a clue. In recent days, I’ve come to grips with just how stupid I am. I really don’t know what’s going on from one moment to the next.
I see what’s going on from a perspective of me standing off the my right side looking at me taking up space in a world I just don’t understand. Is this where things get better? Will I begin to feel like I fit in the space I occupy?
Stop laughing. Even in my drunk state I sound absurd to myself. Make a face at me and move on.
The joints in my jaw cramp each time I take a sip of raspberry vodka and seltzer. I bet its the club soda. But yes, sir, I’ll have another. And I did.
I liked the thunder and the rain today. It’s like a meditation mantra that soothes me into another state of consciousness. I didn’t feel like I needed a nap at 2pm as I usually do, especially on the weekends when I don’t have to force myself to go to work. Jobs suck big hairy balls. Let’s see who actually reads that line. I’m giggling. I’m not a very professional drunk.
* * * Refill break …
The vodka bottle was all frosty and my finger tips stuck to the glass. I couldn’t find the seltzer bottle. It move all by itself since I used it last.
* * * And we return …
I always dream of being in a building of some sort that has many rooms. Sometimes I’m in a tower made of stone, other times I’m in a big white hotel situated on a beach. Other times I’m in a school. So these are all aspects of my psyche. I should be listening to my self more. I’ve been having these sorts of dreams since I was a teenager. One would think I would get the hint by now.
It’s past my bedtime. I love sleeping because when I’m sleeping I am dreaming and I love dreaming. I’d sleep all of the time if I could. My dreams are so vivid, entertaining and satisfying. I am powerful, successful and exciting in my dreams. Who wouldn’t want to stay there? So, off I go to live where I have fun for eight hours.
~ Merry Meet and Blessed Be ~